Small Talk: The Killer of Strong Bonds

Whenever I have talked to people that have been married for a long period of time, 9 times out of 10, they state that what held them together for so long was communication and understanding. I’ve always felt that I have an old soul especially when it comes to love and relationships so the idea of small talk is beyond annoying to me. I’ve never understood it. Small talk is meant for your co-workers who you have to be friendly with but you know you aren’t trying to kick it with outside of work or your significant other’s family member that you don’t really like but you have to play your role. Why does it make sense to try to build a relationship on small talk? A part of me thinks it is because of pride and maybe some people just don’t want to allow someone a complete look into them, just in case they use it against them in the future. The other part of me thinks that my generation is built on temporary bonds. Regardless of what the reason, it doesn’t make any sense and I wish that the concept of building relationships on small talk would just end.
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Being Single Does Not Mean Being Lonely

I believe this is a concept that a lot of women have trouble understanding until they get older. Whether we believe that a man is filling a void that we never had or we believe that having a man is a necessity because society has told us that a goal of being a woman also means being a wife. What we often forget is that we can’t be a partner to someone until we are comfortable and secure in our own skin. In order to become that way, it means being alone. Being single should not automatically mean being lonely and I really want to know where that dumbass concept came from. Everyone, not just women, should be comfortable being alone, should honestly be happy when they are alone. The reason that I am directing this to women is more so because I constantly see this mindset and its annoying.
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Learning to Let Go of Expectations and Accepting Reality

I can’t even lie, I am definitely one of those people that live in LaLa Land. Once I have this idea of how I want things to go in my life, if it gets off track, I often get overwhelmed. I didn’t realize how often I thought this way until earlier today when I was talking to a close friend. I’m not going to get into details on the particular situation because that is besides the point, but he basically told me that I was expecting someone to be different from what they have constantly shown me that they were. Basically it comes down to a quote from Maya Angelou, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.” This post isn’t entirely focused on not having expectations of people in your life but also the situations that you are in. Life NEVER happens the way that you expect it. There are always going to be obstacles that you didn’t expect and some of those obstacles are going to make you lose faith in yourself.
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Being Uncomfortable in Order to be Successful

It took me a while to get to this point where I felt comfortable to write this post. That came down to the fact that I wasn’t ready to speak on what I felt was failures. I recently realized that in order to really live a positive life, I needed to look at every situation as a lesson learned. Being positive means that realizing that no matter what happens, it was meant to happen, and not focus on any negativity no matter the situation. This honestly is going to be more of a testimony than anything. Only those close to me really know what I’ve been through for the past year or so and I really hope that my story can help other people. This one may be a little long but I promise it is somewhat entertaining lol
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I kept hearing people say that cutting your hair will make you feel liberated and beautiful, so back in 2014, I took a pair of scissors and just did the big chop myself. It wasn’t planned at all and I’m honestly surprised that I even had the balls to just do that. I was so incredibly happy while I was chopping it off thinking that I would get this amazing boost in confidence and liberation but…I WAS WRONG. As soon as I cut it off, I got this overwhelming feeling of anxiety. For as long as I could remember, I always have relaxed hair and now I was looking at this woman in the mirror with a little nappy baby fro. Not to mention, during that time, I was having serious self-esteem issues. People tell you about how happy you will be once you go natural, how powerful you feel, and how healthy your hair will be but they often fail to inform you on how it makes you take a serious look at yourself.
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