I don’t know if it is a product of the pain that many of us have endured over the years, how we were raised, or just something that many people don’t realize the importance of until later in life but there comes a great power to understanding the root of your feelings. It sounds like such a simple concept but it’s so rare to come across someone who has mastered it. Everything that we feel has a root cause but people tend to focus on their initial reaction rather than taking the time to really understand why they feel that way and if the reasoning is something that we never dealt with in the past.
If you really take a moment to think back on situations where you got angry or hurt but focus on the foundation of the issue, things look so different. Why were you in that position? Why did the actions upset you? Is the situation worth the reaction? Is it a personal flaw or is that person not worthy of you? Take the time to understand your emotions. We naturally put so much energy into others without putting that same time and energy into our own personal understanding. It’s hard to build healthy relationships whether platonic or romantic without taking the time that you need for yourself.
One of my biggest pet peeves is someone who has a “Well this is how I am so deal with it” personality. When I say this, I’m not referring to having personal standards, I’m referring to people who excuse terrible behavior by claiming it is just a personality trait to be dealt with. That means you know that your behavior is wrong but instead of taking the time to deal with the “why”, you just instead decide to ignore it and force others to deal with it. Your emotional health is important in order to actually grow as a person. Stop making excuses and make it a priority.