Being Uncomfortable in Order to be Successful

It took me a while to get to this point where I felt comfortable to write this post. That came down to the fact that I wasn’t ready to speak on what I felt was failures. I recently realized that in order to really live a positive life, I needed to look at every situation as a lesson learned. Being positive means that realizing that no matter what happens, it was meant to happen, and not focus on any negativity no matter the situation. This honestly is going to be more of a testimony than anything. Only those close to me really know what I’ve been through for the past year or so and I really hope that my story can help other people. This one may be a little long but I promise it is somewhat entertaining lol

Back in 2016, I was working at a job in which I can honestly say that I wasn’t putting my best foot forward. Now don’t get me wrong, compared to some of the other workers, I was an angel. I got along with just about everyone at my job because I’m a pretty bubbly person for the most part and tend to go out my way to help people when they need help. My issue was just that I got comfortable at work and could care less about whether I got there on time or not. I know, it was wrong, but it was the truth. I’m sure there are plenty of you that are reading this that probably had the same mindset that I had. During this time, I had just started graduate school at ECU and my teachers were doing the most as well. I was taking two courses which is a full-time student class load and taking courses online. Being that I was taking courses completely online, I felt that I would be able to schedule things on my own time so that I could easily make it work with my employment schedule. That was far from the truth.

ECU was expecting me to be online at designated times at night and my employer was starting to have mandatory overtime hours. So to say the least, I was starting to get into a “fuck it” mindset. Fast forward, there was a co-worker who smiled in my face and waiting for a reason to stab me in the back. During that time our management wanted to start acting as if they were doing what they were supposed to and tried to buckle down on clocking in late. We were only supposed to be clocking in on our own computers but I knew my computer would take forever to turn on and I was already running late. I went on to text one of my co-workers on my way up to clock me in since I was already in the building. This co-worker then went to our supervisor with the texts and told her that I have been asking her to clock me in. As you all probably know, I was livid and I also had proof of occasions that she asked me to clock her in but I believe in karma so I let it go. After speaking with my supervisor, I got an email a few hours later stating that I had a meeting with her as well as our Director. I personally took that as a sign that they were going to fire me which I found to be unnecessary being that my supervisor came into work an hour or more late everyday. But as I previously said, I believe in karma. I decided to quit about 30 minutes before the meeting, sent and email to HR, and dipped out without saying a word. Being that HR had my resignation, I didn’t feel it was necessary to talk to anyone else.

About a month after I left that job, I got another job. Thankfully I wasn’t out of work too long but I didn’t really take personal responsibility for what happened in my last position. I just blamed everyone else and pissed off at the world to be honest. I started this job with a messed up mindset and let’s just say.. it didn’t end any better. The job was going really well and I loved my co-workers but my supervisor did not like me very much. Everything was fine but during a meeting, her supervisor gave me praises for my efforts at work and she did not like that. She felt that I was trying to outshine her and then told me that I need to give her my ideas before speaking on them during meetings. Being that our meetings were of open dialogues, I knew that the only reason behind this was so that she could be the one to speak on these ideas in future meetings. My position within this company was as accounts payable. Within my role I was to take the budget from each department head (after they were signed) and send them to corporate. My supervisor called me into her office and told me that she wanted me to sign off on each individual department and I told her that I did not feel comfortable doing that. By me signing each individual departments’ budget, it held me liable if anything did not add up, which I refused to do. Being that I was still within my probationary period, she used this as a reason to fire me.

Not even a month after that happened, I ended up failing both of my graduate school classes and got kicked out of my program. I was then forced to move back home to get myself together. While I am so thankful that I have amazing parents who were open to allowing me to move back home and take care of any bills that my savings could not take care of, as an adult, it really messed with my pride. I can say that it was one of the lowest moments in my life because I felt like a complete failure. I knew that something had to change and that’s when I decided to really focus on bettering myself as a whole. I started reading more, writing more, and really took the time to focus on why the things in my life happened and what I could have done differently. I have never been in a more uncomfortable situation that I was when I had to call my parents and ask them if I could move back home. At the beginning, I didn’t even want to tell my friends or other family members that I had moved. It took me months to even be honest with most people and tell them that I had to go back to the beginning and start from scratch.

Now that I look back, I am grateful for everything that happened and even the way that they went down. Self reflection is so important and sometimes terrible things must happen to make room for bigger blessings. I moved back home about 8 months ago and let me tell you how things have changed! I started my degree over at Campbell University with only transferring over two courses from ECU. I will be complete with my Master’s in Business Administration March 1st and graduating with honors. I just received a job offer from an investment firm in the Top 100 of the Fortune 500 list and the job is located in Denver, CO so I get to move to an amazing new place. I am in the best position that I have ever been in and I’m looking forward to the future. I say all of this to say, don’t give up on yourself. Look at every situation that you go through as an opportunity to get better. Sometimes it’s necessary to be uncomfortable to get in a position to be successful.

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