Changes

I kept hearing people say that cutting your hair will make you feel liberated and beautiful, so back in 2014, I took a pair of scissors and just did the big chop myself. It wasn’t planned at all and I’m honestly surprised that I even had the balls to just do that. I was so incredibly happy while I was chopping it off thinking that I would get this amazing boost in confidence and liberation but…I WAS WRONG. As soon as I cut it off, I got this overwhelming feeling of anxiety. For as long as I could remember, I always have relaxed hair and now I was looking at this woman in the mirror with a little nappy baby fro. Not to mention, during that time, I was having serious self-esteem issues. People tell you about how happy you will be once you go natural, how powerful you feel, and how healthy your hair will be but they often fail to inform you on how it makes you take a serious look at yourself.

A woman’s hair is a symbol of femininity. Whether a woman is the type to just throw their hair up into a messy bun on daily basis or the woman that spends hundreds of dollars on sew-ins, our hair is part of our personality. When I cut my hair completely off, I felt ugly, and wasn’t comfortable in my own skin for a while. It was then that I realized that I needed to really spend some time really figuring out what I liked about myself. I hated that instead of feeling beautiful no matter what my hair looked like, I was feeling less than. I deleted all of my social media platforms for about 6 months, didn’t go out anymore, and really just learning more about myself. I read more, I wrote more, I found more healthy ways to deal with my stress, I thought about the woman that I wanted to be and  the actions I would need to take to get there, and really learned my own worth.

After I took that time away, I was the happiest that I could ever remember being.

Everything around me started to change because my outlook on life and myself in general was much more positive. What too many people don’t realize is that negative thoughts have an impact on your life. A positive outlook allows you to strive harder, rather than dwell in frustrations. Nobody wants to be around the person that is always complaining instead of focusing on what they can do to progress. You only have one life and I’m going to spend as much time as possible enjoying it. Negativity of any kind will not be tolerated in my space. I’m working on living in my joy.

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