Stronger and Wiser

“WANTING can be done sitting on the couch with a bong in your hand and a travel magazine in your lap. DECIDING means jumping in all the way, doing whatever it takes, and going after your dreams with the tenacity of a dateless cheerleader a week before prom night.” – Jen Sincero

I am currently reading this book called, “You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life” by Jen Sincero. I previously started reading this book a couple months ago but per usual, life happened so I am finally getting back to it. I’m literally in the introduction chapter and so many lightbulbs are going off in my head. More often than needed, I tend to know what I need to do but question myself. I know exactly what I want and what I need to do but I constantly ask for signs instead of just taking action. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always had the biggest heart. I know you are probably wondering, “What the hell does that have to do with anything?!” so let me break it down for you.

I’m the type of person that wears my heart on my sleeve so as you can probably expect, I’ve experienced a great amount of pain from a variety of people whether it be romantic or platonic. I always want peace in my life but I have had the hardest time deciding to let people go. I sit around and make a million and one excuses for why people do the things that they do and tend to somehow put the blame on myself. It depleted all of my energy and had my spirit completely off balance. I work hard to be the loving, strong, and giving person that I was raised to be and it always baffled me how people can be so horrible. I’m not saying that I’m this perfect angel running the streets but my intentions are always pure (unless I have a reason to show out).

In my last post, I spoke on how my trip to Philly started off on a negative note. It basically came down to a friend giving me their word and not following through which ended up with me losing hundreds of dollars in the aftermath. Basically, that friendship is DEAD but I can’t lie and say that it hasn’t been weighing on me. I am deciding to make a conscious effort to carefully choose who I allow into my space. There is a such thing as giving too much of yourself and honey, I was stretched thin. I have too many goals that I am trying to accomplish to have to worry about the people around me all the time. This definitely includes whomever that I decide to settle down with and date. I’ve realized that I have way less patience when it comes to dating now. I hate excuses and I’m not going to fall for bullshit explanations. One of my friends says, “I don’t trust anyone. Humans are humans no matter what, so that will never change.” I’m finally starting to understand what he means by that. I know what my time and energy is worth and I’m taking care of my inner peace moving forward. As the beautiful Erykah Badu would say, “Peace and blessings manifest with every lesson learned.”

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