People always speak on the importance of “being real” and to be honest, that concept is vague and depending on who you speak with, has many different definitions. I’ve been raised on two things that are the foundation of who I am: keeping my word and speaking my truth. The first, I’ve never had too many personal issues with but the latter, that is a completely different story. Keeping my word was simple to grasp because you say what you mean and mean what you say. I want people to be able to trust my word and know that they can depend on it. I don’t tolerate anything less from those around me so I’m going to give them that same respect. Let me get back to the overall message before I go off about grown men not keeping their word…Both concepts come down to one core factor that until recently, I didn’t recognize which is, the power of the truth teller.
Every story is different but they all tend to have some similarities. Same can be said by experiences of black women in corporate America. Most of us tend to “play a role” or brush off slightly offensive behavior because “they aren’t worth our job” or quite frankly, we just try to be understanding to the fact that most of the issues come from others just being ignorant about our culture. I’ve had plans to write this post for a long time because in my opinion, we aren’t vocal about it enough. It comes to the forefront today because I ran across an Instagram post that gave me a kick in the ass…
It’s definitely been a while since I took the time to write. As my favorite saying goes, “Life comes at you fast.” None the less, I’m back again and so excited about life. It’s such a strange thing to say that I’m excited about life but I until recently, I don’t think I was actually taking the time to enjoy life day by day. I was so zoned in on “What’s Next?” , I wasn’t actually living my life (well, not a fulfilling one at least) . My anxiety was through the damn roof so I focused ONLY on the things I could control and made the conscious decision to live in the moment. It’s definitely easier said than done because I’m truly a control freak. Continue reading “Hiatus.”
I cannot count the amount of times that I have had a man misconstrue my expectations and look at them as insecurities. It takes a certain level of understanding yourself and understanding the certain characteristics that you NEED from a partner to be successful in a relationship. As a woman, it took me a very long time to get past the clouded bullshit of my needs being called “insecurities” and looking at myself as if what I needed from my man was too much. Let me throw this out there real quick…I’m not referring to outlandish materialistic wants. I’m referring to how you expect your significant other to make you feel and the actions that you NEED from them to make you feel that way. Let’s start this off with trust.
Visitor’s Corner : Post by Scottydunks
I was talking to my boy Andrew a few months back and while the conversation jumped around a bit, it mainly focused on how men are held to certain standards by women and we don’t hold ourselves to those same high standards. Just take a moment to let that sink in. Now I’m only one man but based on personal experiences and knowing some trials of others, it’s a common thing for us guys to make a few “simple” mistakes. Andrew made a statement that stuck with me and somewhat became something that I lived by ever since, “Bringing Integrity Back To The Dick”.
Continue reading “Bringing Integrity Back to the D*ck”
I don’t know if it is a product of the pain that many of us have endured over the years, how we were raised, or just something that many people don’t realize the importance of until later in life but there comes a great power to understanding the root of your feelings. It sounds like such a simple concept but it’s so rare to come across someone who has mastered it. Everything that we feel has a root cause but people tend to focus on their initial reaction rather than taking the time to really understand why they feel that way and if the reasoning is something that we never dealt with in the past.
Continue reading “Understanding the Root of your Feelings”
I’ve always felt that if you aren’t constantly learning more about yourself, then you are living a stagnant life. Vulnerability has always been something that I have struggled with for several years due to making horrible choices with some of the people that I allowed around. Notice that I tend to take responsibility for the actions of others in my life because at the end of the day, people only treat you how you allow them to. You can’t forget about accountability when speaking on opening yourself up to be vulnerable. If you’re blaming everyone for problems in your life, do you honestly think you’re going to openly allow yourself to be so exposed emotionally? I truly doubt it…